Gloria’s SONA: A Report by Evil Bill Bilig

The following report on Gloria’s State of the Nation Address (SONA) is an attempt by Bill Bilig’s evil twin a.k.a Evil Bill Bilig to be a cool kid.

If you want to see if his report is reliable, you should visit Tingog, the Voice of the Filipino People which has the full version of the SONA. Evil Bill apologizes to Kayni in advance for including her in Gloria’s nonsense. The good (ehem) Bill Bilig’s reaction to the SONA will be up soon.

According to Evil Bill Bilig, Gloria’s state of the nation address went like this:

Yadaa, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa. Blaa, blaa, blaa, blaa. The Philippines will be world class in 2010. Yadaa, yadaa, blaa, blaa. We will have first class airports, first class seaports, first class roads. Yadaa, yadaa, blaa, blaa. [Mentions name of politicians.] Yadaa, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa. We will send Filipinos to the moon. Yadaa, yaddaa, quack, quack, quack. [Mentions name of Mt. Province Governor Maximo Dalog.] Yadaa, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa. Halsema Road will be world class. Tabuk to Tinglayan Road will be world class. Blaa, blaa, blaa, blaa. Quack, quack, quack, quack. [Mentions names of more politicians.]

NAIA will be world class, I will change its name to Gloria Macapagal Airport. Yadaa, yadaa, blaa, blaa, quack, quack. Metro Manila will be world class, so that Kayni girl will no longer be anxious when she passes by Manila. Yadaa, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa. The Philippines will be high tech. We have cyber corridor. Yadaa, blaa, blaa, blaa, quack quack. [Mentions name of Warren Ambat of Baguio City.] Yadaa, yadaa, yadaa. Blah, blah, blah, quack, quack, quack. [Mentions name of Hester Umayam of Kalinga.]

Baa, baa, black sheep have you any wool. Donald Duck, Donald Duck, quack, quack, quack. We will kill the terrorists, those damned activists [Ed’s note: like Alice Claver and Markus Bangit.] Activists are terrorists. Terrorists are activists. Bomb them, shoot them, kill them. Hunt, kill, hunt, kill. The Philippines is world class. Yadaa, yadaa, yadaa, yadaa. Blaa, blaa, blaa, blaa. [Mentions names of thousands of politicians.] Quack, quack, quack. I’m not a duck. I’m a powerful woman. I’m a queen.

RELATED: Gloria Lastog.

4 thoughts on “Gloria’s SONA: A Report by Evil Bill Bilig”

  1. he he he… easy… easy… your evil twin’s report on gma’s sona show the exact reasons why i didn’t bother listening to it or searching for the full text.

    sure. to be fair, read or listen to it. but naah… madadael laeng ti ears.

  2. this is crazy hehehe and crazily sums up what the president may have really meant in her sona.

    did want to listen to it intently but after hearing a few words bootlicking the people about how grand her performance was, i was no longer up to staying longer to hear her gabble more. but i am still inclined at reading a copy of her sona, to give her the benefit of the doubt.

  3. Didn’t listen to SONA. If I wanted to be lied to, I’d rather listen to my ex-gf make excuses about why she don’t love me anymore…:D

  4. Hi Pagano,
    I was also not inclined to watch pero it was a holiday kaya pinanood ko pa rin. Thanks.

    Hi Arcibald,
    Talaga, it is an exercise of self-praise by Gloria. Thanks.

    Hi Nashman,
    Good choice 🙂

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